


How to Accidentally Summon Demons: A Guide by Steve Rogers

by CosmoKid



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Demons, Latin Student Steve, M/M, Very Minimal Stucky, demon!Bucky, squint or you'll miss it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-19
Updated: 2016-10-19
Packaged: 2018-08-23 11:05:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,708
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8325355
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CosmoKid/pseuds/CosmoKid
Summary: Latin wasn't a fun subject to study, it was difficult, it was dead and it often led to an accidental summoning of a demon.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I have no idea what this is. I'm sorry.
> 
> Inspired by http://thoodleoo.tumblr.com/post/149333401887/everyone-thinks-latin-is-a-hard-language-to-learn 
> 
>  
> 
> there's probably a special place in hell for me for this

Steve hated studying Latin. He normally wouldn’t complain about having to study something since his school was such a good school, but goddamn, did he hate Latin. It was just so useless, why should he study a dead language? When was he ever going to use a _dead_ language?

Okay sure, maybe loads of languages were descended from it, but it was just such a difficult and needlessly complex language that he wouldn’t be able to use it to figure out other languages. Also, it’s so difficult to figure out if he was using it right because it’s a dead language. English might be a fucked up, broken beyond repair language, but at least there were sixty-seven nations with English as its primary language.

And sure, maybe it might make horror movies more interesting if you know what they’re saying, but Steve doesn’t. Because he _doesn’t_ understand the language.

All the advantages that come with studying languages also come with understanding and comprehending Latin which Steve could not. He tried. He tried so hard, he’d spent countless hours on the language trying to get his head around it and Google Translate wasn’t helping. He was fairly certain that ‘uva passa’ wasn’t ‘a grape that has suffered’.

Plus, if he summoned one more goddamn demon, he was going to rip someone’s head off. 

It wasn’t that bad the first time, just a bit shocking. He’d just been sitting there, about to cry for how bad he was at Latin when this red guy with a jewel in his forehead had appeared from literal thin air. He’d floated a bit before asking what Steve had wanted for his soul. Steve hadn’t expected the crossroads demon to understand that he had summoned him by accident and he certainly hadn’t expected the demon to sit down and explain his Latin work to him. 

Overall, a pretty good experience. Unfortunately, it had set his expectations a bit high for the next one. Granted, maybe accidentally summoning two separate demons isn’t a common thing so he never had examples to follow. The second he summoned was nowhere near as nice as the first, he’d arrived with a dark scowl to match his dark eyes, dark hair and probably dark heart and kicked over his chair. He’d proceeded to demand Steve’s soul, calling him a mewling quim and himself royalty before a shockingly big blonde guy (probably another demon) had pulled him back out of existence which left Steve with a messy room and still no idea on his Latin homework. 

The third and fourth demons had arrived together when Steve had read an entire paragraph out loud in utter desperation to at least have something to hand in and poof two demons appear. One had bright red hair and the other was sporting a bow and arrow. They’d exchanged a few words and challenges, completely ignoring Steve, before fighting it out in his room for his soul. After he’d separated the fighting demons, which had led to at least four burns and a black eye, he’d explained that it was a mistake and they’d gone semi-peacefully, ignoring the fact that the red-haired one had attacked the other as they dematerialised.

That had done it for him, he was done with accidental demon summoning. But apparently, they weren’t done with being summoned. He’d summoned at least thirty demons within the next two months. There was one he could remember who had been nice and calm until Steve mentioned he didn’t actually want to sell his soul. Suddenly there was a massive green thing in his room that smashed his bed to pieces before leaving. That was difficult to explain. 

There had also been the weird twins who seemed more determined on putting a magic show rather than taking his soul as well as the ‘metal demon’ who’d just talked at him for hours, explaining quantum physics to a biology student. Not forgetting about the winged guy he’d summoned about five times who was quickly becoming his best friend. And not to mention the black panther that had leapt through his window before transforming into a demon called T’Challa. He’d been very forgiving and understanding and had even bitched a little bit about some winter demon. He was soon becoming a gossip mogul for all of the demons. 

Despite this, some of the demons had horrible backstories that made Steve want to cry. He couldn’t decide if the seventeen-year-old kid who had sold his soul at seven to save his uncle had a sadder story than the guy who had gotten a rotten deal after selling his soul to save his daughter and had died a year later in a ‘freak accident’ with a poisonous ant. When he’d started studying Latin, he hadn’t expected to be summoning at least one demon a week and he didn’t expect that he’d be feeling sorry for this demon. Hell, he’d wanted to cry for the child and he had cried for that poor guy.

So studying Latin had brought him pain, confusion and demon friends, only one of which had helped him with his homework. 

Nothing could have prepared him for the night before his birthday, however. He’d been peacefully (aka inner turmoil) doing his Latin work when a literal posse of demons had arrived. He legitimately had seven demons, one of which who was bright red, fighting over his soul and one more just sitting quietly on his bed. Normally he’d try to break it up, but it was the night before his birthday and his homework was horrible so he just carried on doing his work. They’d ignored him anyway, it seemed to be a mutual agreement. He was too busy doing his work and they were too busy fighting over his soul.

“You’ve got the verb tense wrong.” 

“What?” Steve had spluttered, turning his head up to see possibly the hottest demon in Hell. Sure the dude looked like he was still in his awkward emo ‘the world is dark and dreary’ phase, but goddamn was he cute. Could he say the word ‘goddamn’ when talking about a demon? Was that offensive? It was probably a sin, but then again, he was currently best friends with a flying demon so he was a walking sin. 

“You’ve got the verb tense wrong,” the hot demon had repeated patiently, “It’s the imperfect, not the preterit,” he’d added, but Steve was too busy getting lost in the guys’ eyes. His eyes were like the ocean and Steve was ready to drown. Jesus Christ, Steve was sinning. 

“Oh, okay,” Steve had blundered, his mind pretty far away from his Latin homework. Well, at least this confirmed that Steve was definitely bisexual considering he’d throw away any chance with Peggy Carter for this demon. How did he even have that thought?

“It’s fine, I’ve been told my hair is distracting quite a few times before.” The hot demon was making jokes. He was sitting in his room doing his homework with a _demon_ who was making jokes. 

“IT IS MY SOUL RUMLOW!” Apparently, the demons behind him had resorted to yelling rather than physical fighting and probably some telepathic arguments. 

“OVER MY DEAD BODY!”

“YOU ARE DEAD!”

“OVER THIS DEAD BODY!”

“THE SOUL BELONGS TO ME ACTUALLY!”

“PROVE IT!”

“PROVE THAT IT BELONGS TO YOU!”

“PROVE THAT IT BELONGS TO YOU!”

“PROVE THAT IT BELONGS TO ANY OF YOU!”

“IT DOESN’T BELONG TO ANY OF YOU!” Steve hadn’t expected the demon next to him to join, but then, this was demons he was talking about.

“WHAT? DOES IT BELONG TO YOU BARNES?” Well, apparently demons could scoff and apparently they can be called Barnes as well.

“It doesn’t. I don’t see any signed contracts in blood.” Oh, so that actually did happen. You were actually meant to sign contracts in blood. Huh, the more you know.

“I DO NOT NEED A CONTRACT TO TAKE HIS SOUL.” These demons really didn’t want to put this to rest.

“Sure, have fun proving that to Fury.” There was a ghost of a smirk playing on Barnes’ lips which probably made Steve just a little bit more sinful. Only a little bit, he swore.

“He is seventeen Barnes, we do not need the contract.” Steve knew that voice; that was the voice of the demon who had called him a mewling quim and was apparently the rightful king of Hell. He hadn’t cut his hair at all and still looked at Steve like he was the ant who had been stepped on by his boot.

“He is seventeen in approximately twelve hours and a deal must be made within twelve hours of the incantation.” Apparently, Barnes had lots of in-depth knowledge of demon deals which makes sense since he was a demon who made deals although apparently the rest of them didn’t. 

“HE MAY STILL SIGN A CONTRACT IN BLOOD!”

“Dude, stop yelling.” 

That was possibly the weirdest exchange between demons that Steve had ever seen.

“Trust me guys, this little tyke won’t be signing a contract anytime soon, I’ll make sure of it.” Steve didn’t know whether he should be angry since Barnes called him a ‘little tyke’ or be grateful for the protection he was getting from a random, hot demon. 

“Damn you, Barnes!” It was pretty ironic, damning a demon, but hey, at least the seven demons left his room after that. 

“You need to stop accidentally summoning demons kid, they’ll be able to claim your soul without a contract next week,” Barnes advised, turning his head to focus entirely on Steve which made him squirm under the tightened gaze of the demon.

“Yeah, tell that to my Latin teacher,” Steve mumbled, scowling slightly at the thought of his Latin teacher. She was a cold, cruel lady who was too tall with a hooked nose. Steve hated her more than he hated the subject.

“Oh trust me, I plan to,” the demon smirked, his eyes glistening playfully. Oh god, what was he going to do?

  


Steve wasn’t shocked to learn that his Latin teacher had left permanently for a family emergency and he certainly wasn’t shocked to learn that he had a new lab partner in biology who went by Bucky Barnes.

**Author's Note:**

> come scream with me on [tumblr](https://island-of-asteria.tumblr.com/)


End file.
